There is nothing more wonderful in life than being a parent. The first time you see your newborn baby, it takes your breath away. And those sweet innocent baby grows up way too fast. There are joys and sorrows associated with raising children, and hopefully the joys have far outweighed the sorrows for you parents. I do know that there are a lot of hurting parents in my world who have children that have either turned their back on God, have walked away from the faith or family , or are struggling in many areas, some with drugs, some with alcohol, and some with their identity. Some have made terrible life choices and some are even serving time for crimes committed. As I finish this week of parenting topics, I want to encourage you parents never to give up on your children. We keep using our faith as parents. When we have mountains of issues to deal with, we continue to speak to those mountains. We activate our faith with our mouth, because faith is voice activated. We believe that children will come to their senses, and come home to God.
This is my prayer for you:
Father in the name of Jesus, I lift up parents who are (reading this) hearing my voice. I believe the promises in your Word that we a parents can raise a generation of kids that know You and love You. We pray that the children of the parents (reading this) listening will open their hearts to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit speak individually to them. When theses parents feel like failures, I pray that you remind them that you love their children more than they ever could. We depend on You for strength, might and the ability to keep holding tightly onto the promises in Your Word. We call those things which be not as though they were, and believe that Your Word has been sent into their kids lives and it will not return void. We believe that evil strongholds and influences would loose their power over our children. I pray encouragement and blessing around these parents and we believe the lost will be found, the prodigal will come home, and freedom will come to their children who have been held captive by the enemy, in Jesus Name, AMEN.
After talking about natural things all week, we will delve into spiritual parenting ideas. One of the most powerful things that we can do for our children, involves prayer. The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous person (mom or dad) makes great power available, effective in its working (James 5:16b).
My three easy points are:
1) Pray for your child,
2) pray with your child, and
3) teach your child to pray, (by doing points one and two).
We need to be praying the Word over our kids everyday! They don’t have to sow wild oats, or have a rebellious season. They can grow up loving God, loving you, loving their siblings and making right choices. The three main things I have prayed for my kids comes right out of John chapter 10.
1) That my kids will know the voice of God (vs 4).
2) That they won’t follow a stranger (vs 5).
3) That they will make decisions to follow God based on listening to His voice. (vs 27).
There are lots of voices out there. It is imperative that our kids know how to discern God’s voice from any other voice. Most of all, we want our kids to be good decision makers, and making the choice to follow God in everything is where it all starts.
So my encouraging word to you is….pray for your kids. If you don’t have natural kids, there is someone who needs you to pray for them, so do a spiritual adoption! Parents, make it your goal to be your kid’s life long prayer partners. Let them hear you pray for them, and teach them how to pray, by both show and tell, so that they can be people of prayer, who know how to touch heaven, to change things on earth. It is possible!
How on earth did your kids turn out to be so very different from one another? It may
have to do with where they sit in the family tree. Birth order can influence your
kid’s personality and behavior more than we know. We have found that a great tool for raising Godly kids is in understanding birth order. Dr. Kevin Leman and other respected psychologists have written extensively on this subject, and there are amazing truths which can help parents better understand children. The amount of children in a family, if there are step siblings involved, or half siblings, or if kids are an only child all can change things up a bit, but the basic principles often hold true, even in blended families. Another variable is how many years there are between children in the birth order.
The oldest generally are the take charge leader type. They are not always outspoken about it, but they often are strong willed and determined and definitely conscientious.
Middle kids are usually peacemakers and mediators. They tend more often to be people pleasers.
Youngest children very often think the world revolves around them, and often become the entertainer, or the life of the party.
There is great insight in Dr. Leman’s books, and also great charts available on the internet to see how you can better understand your kids when it comes to birth order. It is well worth your time to do some of your own research. Because we want to be the best parents we can be, I encourage you to use all of the resources you have available to stretch and grow. As parents we don’t get a dress rehearsal, this is the real thing. Let’s do our best!
I use the acronym QWARP to remind me of each of the 5 different love languages Gary Chapman introduced in his book “ The Five Love Languages”, and the many spinoffs for couples, for kids, etc.
Q stands for Quality Time. Kids who have quality time as their love languages just enjoy being with you, with eye to eye contact.
W stands for words of affirmation, and kids with this love language need to hear you say that you love them and approve of them.
A stands for acts of service, and kids with this love language, enjoy you doing projects together, and will often be under your feet while you are working.
R stands for receiving of gifts. These kids love getting presents, and a prize box for rewards will really be a hit, but they also love giving gifts, and take pride in selecting special gifts.
P stands for physical touch. These are the touchy feely kids who will be found sitting on your lap, playing with your hair and holding your hand.
When you know what your child’s love language is, you will better understand why they do what they do, and even which discipline works best for each child. So to all you parents out there, you can be a better parent as you learn about your child’s love language. It is an exceptional tool that has been so beneficial for my husband and I as we parent
Understanding personality types is a key to understanding your child– There are many personality type tests, but the one I like the best is the one with the lion, the beaver, the otter, and the golden retriever, developed by Gary Smalley and John Trent. The Lion is often a first born, who is the strong leader type. They get things done, have vision for the future, and can tend to be pushy if they get out of balance. The beaver is the worker bee, who sees a need and gets it done. The otter is the life of the party. They are the social ones, who love having lots of people around them. The golden retriever is the loyal faithful friend, who is always there when you need them. Who would think that 4 personality types would pretty much sum up everyone you know? It really is great for looking at your kids personalities, because you can picture the animal, and instead of getting frustrated that your kid loves to have friends over all the time, or won’t ever be serious, you see an otter, playing in the water and enjoying life. With our kids, it also helped me to recognize that my beaver was given most of the jobs, because she never complained and just did them, while the otter couldn’t find time to do chores, and lions would just like to delegate it to someone else. So whatever animal your children represent, they can be their best self if you recognize the animal attributes that their personality represents.
Do you know what motivates you? The motivational gifts are listed in Romans 12, verses 6-9. What is wonderful about this scripture is that it demonstrates God’s finger print on every life on the face of the earth. Here is how it reads in the Message Bible.
6 let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t. If you preach, just preach God’s Message, nothing else; 7 if you help, just help, don’t take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; 8 if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don’t get bossy; if you’re put in charge, don’t manipulate; if you’re called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don’t let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face. 9 Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.
This scripture includes great advice for parents. Every person has different motivational gifts. Our motivation can be to lead/give guidance, teach/preach, to help, to guide/administrate, to give, to show mercy, or to encourage. What is so great is that you can see where your child fits, and then you understand them better. It also works with spouses, friends and your own siblings. When we know our motivation gift, we can relate to each other on a higher level. What a great parenting tip, that really works for a lifetime!
Monday June 19
I believe that as parents we are shaping the next generation and raising kids is a privilege and a reward from the Lord. Hi, this is Dorette Schaal with your dailyeword. I had the wonderful opportunity to do a workshop on parenting soon after we adopted our son Carson who was 2 ½ years old. It is really funny how God sets us up sometimes. With a new little boy in our home, I’m not sure there ever had been a time when I have felt less confident as a parent. Everything was all new, and boys are certainly a whole different species after parenting 4 girls! But we took on the challenge of parenting a son, and I was more than happy to talk about Practical Parenting – Mission Possible. I hope the thoughts this week empower you to be a better parent. Here is your dailyeword.
Just like most things, being a good parent involves natural things as well as spiritual things. We’ll talk about the natural side of parenting first. You would probably guess that I am a reader, and have read more parenting books than you can imagine. These principles are from the best book of all, the Bible, and 3 others great books by really exceptional Christian authors. Here are these 4 natural things that are a great resource when it comes to parenting God’s way. They are areas of understanding that have made parenting much easier.
1) Understanding motivational gifts (from Rom 12: 6-9),
2) Understanding personality type – lion, beaver, otter and golden retriever (from the book by Gary Smalley and John Trent),
3) Understanding Love Languages (from a book by Gary Chapman), and
4) Understanding birth order (from a book by Kevin Leman).
These natural tools have helped my husband and I tremendously in understanding our kids temperaments, characteristics and individual mannerisms. I will break these natural things down day by day this week, and then finish the week talking about spiritual keys that help to produce kids that love God, love His presence, and have a passion for reaching the world. As Christian parents, that’s what we strive for….producing kids to change the world.
Today is Father’s Day! Because I am so blessed to have had a great dad, and to be married to a man who is an awesome dad to our children, and to serve a God who is the best Father of all, Father’s Day is always a special day to celebrate. So today I’m going encourage you to celebrate Fatherhood. For those whose dads have passed away, or those who don’t know their fathers, Father’s day can be very hard….so, first some fun quotes.
*A definition of fatherhood: A man who carries photographs where his money used to be.
*A proverb: The best and most important thing a dad can do for his kids is to adore their mother.
*Never heard by a dad at his deathbed: Gee I wish I’d spent more time at my job.
*One day a young mother and her kindergarten age son were driving down the street. The inquisitive little boy asked, “Why do the idiots only come out when Daddy drives?”
It is true that kids are costly, time consuming and they remember everything you do and say. It is also true that kids need to see love demonstrated and that they don’t become what you tell them to become, but they become who you are. (Yikes!) Great dads are not perfect, but they do know that the time they spend with their kids is an investment that pays the biggest dividends. They also know that their example is what their kids will follow. They are aware that their habits will likely become their child’s habits and that applies to vices as well. The way your kids see you treat others is probably how they will treat others too. You get to chose what kind of Dad you want your sons will become!
So on this Father’s Day, my prayer for all the dads and future fathers is this: Father in Heaven, we come to you in Jesus name, thanking you for dads that have Your heart. We pray that their hearts would be soft toward You and their children. We pray for their children to be blessed with a dad that knows, loves, and serves You. We thank you for dads that are men of their word, and men who stand for the truth and what is right, and set a godly example for their kids. We pray for protection for their minds, and believe that they will keep their hearts stayed on You. Thank you for wisdom as they raise their children in the admonition of the Lord. We ask you to especially bless them on this day that we honor them for their commitment and sacrifices for their families. We pray that You give them the desires of their hearts. In Jesus Name, AMEN!
Don’t you wish that we could all be mature and self controlled, all the time? I think Paul was at the frustration point with believers in I Corinthians 3, because he says that he can’t speak to the believers like they were mature, because they were acting like children. If you are around 2 -5 year olds, their world revolves around them. They want a toy, they get it. They don’t care how, they get focused on something, and then go after it. It can be a good quality, but usually it involves taking the toy away from somebody else. As adults we should stay focused on our goals, but not to the exclusion of other people or their feelings. Paul told the believers in I Corinthians 3 that they were acting like they were carnal. Their actions showed that they were acting just like ordinary unbelievers, instead of who they really were, children of the Most High God. Once we become a Christian, our maturity level is up to us. We can grow at a glacial pace, or at the speed of light! Well, not really. But we determine how fast we grow in Christ by the time we spend in the Word, the time we spend fellowshipping with the Father, and with the accountability of other believers. To be able to overcome immaturity and any negative emotions, it is a good idea to go back to the basics. Put some mortar in the bricks of your foundation and start from the ground up. Let’s be spirit filled believers who act maturely and overcome strife. We can do this, and shine our light in a dark world.
I encourage you to read all of Proverbs 13 today, but especially read verse 10 which says that if we avoid pride, we will avoid contention. As believers, we want to overcome the flesh, and put it to death every day, which is requires putting pride aside. If we overcome pride, we give ourselves a much better chance at living in unity and harmony, and avoiding contention. We all live in the real world, and we see contentious people everywhere.
There are angry drivers,
angry people all around us.
You see their angry actions,
and you hear their angry words.
It is interesting to see that according to Prov 13:10, if we put aside pride, we will live a life with so much less stress! How wonderful it is to live a life without contention. A life without arguments and quarrels and fights, can be peaceful, calm and serene! We can live this way, if we put pride aside. Verse 10 also says that with the well advised comes wisdom. When we live the spirit filled life, we give ourselves the opportunity to daily glean from the wisdom of the Lord. We don’t often see the big picture, but we know that God does! We can live a life of wisdom and live in the peace of God, on a daily basis. Avoiding contention sounds pretty wonderful to me!